The inception: How the project begun
The project somehow chose me. In September 2017, I turned to a blank page in my diary and asked myself “What will I do next?” and then it was there, suddenly, as if I had hit a download button! Here is what I wrote in bullet points onto this blank page: – initiate an art project with women – paint a picture of a woman every day for a year – let each picture be inspired by the expression of what a woman out there feels or wants to express (photo)- create a stage for 365 women around the world, embracing as much diversity as possible – reflect through art what I see and feel, drawing from the photo/inspiration – document and share the process.
I remember that moment as if it was yesterday, totally surprised by this clarity, I called my partner and told him. He asked me, “Are you sure about 365 paintings? You’ve never painted in a row, what about 52 paintings, one each week?” I checked in with myself, and that voice inside me didn’t like his proposal. He then suggested, “What about giving yourself 400 days for the 365 paintings? You could take some days off…” But the voice again answered with a resolute “no.” “So, then it’s settled, 365 days and 365 paintings,” he answered, “you can count on my full support!”
Yes, the voice had been so clear, that there was not one single doubt and all doubts from the outside that this might not work, simply bounced off me. It was such an amazingly strong feeling!
The journey: From the invitation to a painting ritual
In November 2017 I sent out invitations to my friends, asked them to spread the word and shared the project on facebook and instagram. I created this website for publishing the daily process. I was sure, as soon as around 50 women joined and sent their photo, I could start painting and it would take off from there. What a trust these first women had! They had not seen any of my works, nor did they know, what they were really signing up for!
I started painting on the 10th of February 2018, painted every single day and published the portrait every evening on my blog.
Every day I picked blindly my inspiration of the day out of a box, which I called my treasure chest, and in which I had put all names of the women, who sent in their photos. (Sometimes it happened, that a woman had sent more than one photo. Then I put them all into the treasure chest and the first one picked, was the one, which wanted to be my inspiration.)
I painted in every mood, I painted on days I felt happy or sad, frustrated or energized, on days I was healthy or sick, on days my body felt tired or full of life, on days I traveled, on days I had other commitments, I painted in different places and to different times of the day.
Publishing every evening often was the biggest challenge of the day, stepping out onto the stage every evening in all my vulnerability. Throughout the process, I tried to be a good witness to myself and kept asking myself, “How can I stay open, be present in my vulnerability, and be kind to myself?”
Most days, I would pick the inspiration for the day in the mornings. Upon entering the atelier, I would sit with the chosen inspiration for a while, lit a candle, and in my mind’s eye, imagined myself ascending a spiral staircase leading to an empty white room. There I invited the creative energy to flow freely, invited whatever wanted to stay, to stay, whatever wanted to leave, to leave, and whatever wanted to show, to show up…. and I promised, to follow all impulses which came. The format, the technique, the style, I was open and ready for everything, tried to serve to my best abilities!
Through this simple ritual, I experienced moments of profound clarity. Surprisingly, the creative process evolved in ways I couldn’t have anticipated. Sometimes the brush strokes on the canvas seemed to dance with a life of their own, and I found myself deeply connected to the art I was creating. On many days, I had the feeling that I wasn’t painting; instead, it felt like art was painting me.
During the project, I came to realize the significance of having also a brief closing ritual after completing each painting. So in the evenings, I closed the door in my mind’s eye and descended the spiral staircase.
Refections and Gratitude
There were only two days when I lacked motivation. I remember the first time. It was a day when a dear friend of mine was running a marathon, and she unknowingly carried me through that painting day: “if she can run a marathon, surely I can paint a picture!” was my mantra the whole day! In the evening, we talked, and she told me, “Today, you carried me through this marathon. I totally had a lack of motivation, but the thought, “If Susanne can paint for 365 days, I can run this marathon, carried me!”. Yes, the support along the way was amazing!
When people asked me, “how can you be that dedicated, so committed?”, I didn’t know what else to answer than: “I am just doing it!”
In all of this, especially in the beginning, my inner critic and my head was quite loud, and it took time for us to work together in a kinder way.
Quite sometimes a woman shared, that her process begun so much earlier than the day she sent in her photo or me painting her. Questions like “Do I want to enter this stage?”, “What do I want to show about myself?”, “What do I want to bring onto a stage, into the light?” moved them long before. What a beautiful process!
I invite you to take a look, take a look at 365 women, who answered these questions. Under “day by day” you find what I published daily during the painting phase. 365 gallery images, for 365 days of painting, each dedicated to one woman, her original photo and what evolved out of her inspiration.
Thank you to all who supported this project before, during and after. Thank you my family, thank you my friends!
And of course, a huge thank you and applause to all the women who co-created this project with me! Thank you for your trust and your courage to claim your stage!
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Please note: The copyright to all images lies with the respective originators and is not assignable without previous written permission.