My day hadn’t started well, I received a faked blackmail from my own email account and first I did not understand if my account was hacked (how sick is this world!) and then my phone broke (I cannot call anyone or receive calls) and my neck was kind off stiff and hurting, due to sleeping in a quite strange position. Of course, these are all no major things, but they affected my mood this morning.
Picking Nazife, was a good pick for today.
Let me share with you, what she shared with me: “At the age of 60 I had a divorce. After that I really had hard time, which is unexpected for me. I just stayed at home for years because I didn’t want to spent money, I didnt want to see my friends who are still married and have the comfort of the marriage, felt so unsuccesfull. After that dark time, I started to work on myself, my body and soul. Firstly I started to take piano lessons when I was 65. Then I attended dance lessons both tango and local turkish dance. At last I started to the university again, when I was 68. At that time I am preparing myself for my 70th birthday and feel like I came back from the dead. I feel so fresh and want to share my story with you!”
Nazife had sent me three pictures, one playing the piano, one in the dance studio and this one, which came out:
Oh yes, there was a lot inside for me today! To my surprise I started zooming in and sketching on A2 paper. Actually with the quite low resolution of the inspiration a possible struggle with announcement! And I did, I really struggled. With quite everything, nothing flew with ease …. at some stage I offered to start over, ready to give up, go smaller, but my inspiration wouldn’t let me. Eventually I understood, I had to let it die. “Die before you die”, rang in my ears – and suddenly I saw some resemblance to Nazife story. Go down and let go, let it die. Die. Painful. Dark. Not easy. Just you, no one else.
You may think, “how can she exaggerate so much”, but I felt a lot today… and it was worth it! Rising. Diving into a fresh ocean. just as I am, just as you are, just as it is. But I am exhausted!
“Death is the stripping away of all that is not you. The secret of life is to ‘die before you die’ – and find there is no death.” ~Eckhart Tolle
Thank you, Nazife!
<3 Susanne